well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
