Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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