take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
