she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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