So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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