He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i will never coherently bang her
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
