think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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