Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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