Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
