The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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