this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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