I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
