Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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