You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Duck Duck Cougar?
I think my vagina is haunted
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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