after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
