I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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