I just saw a hot homeless man
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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