Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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