He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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