You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
