oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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