i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
