Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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