Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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