So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
