my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
