I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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