I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
