This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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