you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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