Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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