is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
