hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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