When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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