worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Randomize
