I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize