how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You are a genius and a whore.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
