But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
What a dumb baby whore.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
