I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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