i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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