Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
