I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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