your room smells of hookers.
And success
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
