he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
