would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
