Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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