Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
