Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize