I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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