I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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