if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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