Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
