KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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