then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
