She said her name was "party"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
