Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
