I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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