There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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