I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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