I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
