Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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