it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
